Show us who you would want as a guest if you were a talk show host.
their uh-mazing. i wouldn't even ask questions. they could do or say anything they'd like, and i'd just admire them
What's the one thing you're most neurotic about?
i hate when i accidentlly scratch someone, i apologize like i've commited a crime. i'll squeeze my fingertips until i can live with myself again
once i was eating with my sister. i finished all my food and she offered me what was left of hers. i was more than happy to take over where she left off. but after one bite my face turned sour, and i immediately spit the food out. i could only describe the taste of it as "old people" i'm not being mean, i was just a kid. my mother worked for a retirement home at the time so old people scared me and smelled funny. to this day, i can't eat a thing from my sisters plate i've tried trust me . she'll be like, "savina you want this slice of pizza?" and i'll be like, "yeah but it'll taste like old people so no thanks." she hates it, but it's too funny not to laugh.
What have you tried in life that you just weren't very good at?
relationships. though now when i look back, i don't think i tried very hard at all. one thing i did do was give up. i threw in the towel a many of times. i was young, afraid, and full of expectations. "silly girl those are for kids."
i'm reading this new book "A NEW EARTH" by Eckart Tolle
He says, "In the early stages of many romantic relationships, role-playing is quite common in order to attract and keep whoever is perceived by the ego as the one who is going to "make me happy, make me feel special, and fulfill all my needs." "I'll play who you want me to be and you'll play who I want you to be." That's the unspoken and unconscious agreement. However role playing is hard work, and so those roles cannot be sustained."
"What is commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever."
i should really get back out there in the whole dating scene but i'm so nervous i might need a paramedic to chaperone. when i finally meet someone i like and actually admit it to myself. i'm sure i'll die right there on the spot once i know they feel the same way. and with my last breath i'll sing outloud that song by Third Eye Blind, "she likes me for me!"
haven't hungout with my sister as much as i would like lately. i'm pretty sure she has a fake id and doesn't believe in letting it go to waste. she goes out all the time, and just came back from spring break. punches me everytime were in the car together now, it kinda hurts. "punch bug no punch back," she yells. i haven't played that in like 6 years, needless to say i really don't miss it.
we just got through play fighting, and she kicked my ass. no real shocker there, i'm no fighter. she hits really hard, i'd suspect steriods if her arms weren't toothpicks. so to fight back i simply things intsead. i threw hats, magazines, even shoes. she basically took a shoe and beat me silly. i have all sorts of shoe prints covering my legs (evil shoe prints of pain). when i hit her it's so funny i can't protect myself. so while i'm on the ground gasping for air, she's inflicting pain that i don't usually feel until i pull myself together.
so i ache all over. just to fool around even more i've been walkin around with cruches. we hugged and call it quits. if we lived together, i'm sure i wouldn't survive many more of these attacks. she'd kill me.
Playin Scrabble wiTh my parents is oh so much fun. im Geting this wacKy feeling that my HouSe haS tRansformed inTo a RetireMent home. They yell at me for cheatinG and i reply with, "go fuCk yourself!" I'm Gonna Be Ridiculous when im old im sure. My moms aMazinG finding all Kinds of bIg WordS. sHe aTe oatMeal tHis morning, muSt be somE kiNd of Brain food. my dads so cute the way he looKs up words in the Dictionary usiNg his maGnify glaSS (while still wearing Glasses)When i finally move ouT again, and i will one day people...im Gonna miss mornings like this. cup of tea with Mommy, Cup of Joe wiTh daddy, Breakfast for three, and the simple questioN,"scrabble anyone?"
What one object/thing would you take if your house were on fire?
without a doubt i'd take my case of video tapes. all the footage i've filmed over the last 6 or 7 years couldn't be replaced. homevideos are priceless memories that bring back insane laughter and almost always tears. not to long ago, i put together alittle video of family footage that even brought my gangsta sis to tears. i'll have to upload it when i find out how. theres nothing like seeing images of yourself and remembering what it was like to be you back then. seeing how much you've change. feeling how much you've grown. knowing that you lived and loved life in those precious captured moments.
sometimes i can't wait until i'm old and looking back. saying to myself, "i was beautiful. i was kind. i was happy." this morning i was driving back home enjoying such a lovely day. i seen this little old women walking from her mailbox, mail in hand. i had to pass her on the way to my driveway and i just hoped she would turn, smile, and wave the way it seemed to happen in the movies. and she did. not exactly like the movies but in her own little way. and my face lit up like a child just because. cheers to friendly people.
back to video tapes... a few years ago my apartment was broken into. labtop, digital camera, and camcorder gone forever. at first, i was angry that it happened. then i told myself, "they were only material things, i'm the same person without em." i just wish i could've kept the writings i wanted nobody to read, the photos i was proud i'd taken, and the footage to a project i'd worked really hard on.
...blah
